you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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