plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
