she was so not down for the gang bang
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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