So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Panties = found
Randomize
