everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize