dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
