Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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