drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
