apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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