Need sex. Gaining weight.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
false alarm, still single
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