You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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