i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
