I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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