As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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