There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize