i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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