So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
