hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
