Just fell off a train. Bad.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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