He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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