he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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