Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
