If i come over, it means nothing
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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