Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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