question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
