You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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