Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
