I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
