how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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