And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
