I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
