just tell him i said nine months
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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