I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
