does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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