is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize