I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
