Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
