I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
