you win again, gameday.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
