what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
