how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
