the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
