Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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