Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize