We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
