giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
