In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My nipple is on Facebook.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize