So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
