I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We need a shit load of segways right now
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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