So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
