I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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