You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
