New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
