we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
