I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
