Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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