Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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