she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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