I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
