Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
