My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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