There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
