It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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