Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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