what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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