Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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