So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize