ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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