I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
