your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
