I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
