Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
