You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize