Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
